Having said that, I feel like just winging it. It'd be so much easier, right? I feel like ever since coming back from Colorado, being at home feels like months. Don't get me wrong, love my parents, seeing family, all of that, but I feel like its time for me to live life on my own. I'm 21. I lived with my parents full-time for 18 years. I'm not meant to stay in one place for a long period of time or plan out everything. I wasn't built like that. I want to go on an adventure and this is my chance. Don't get me wrong, I'm totally excited, but I've never done anything like this before.
To get me through some of my pre-departure anxiety, I've been listening to some worship music, and I have to say David Crowder Band's "Never Let Go" blows me away. It's so perfect for the way it touches on finding rescue in God from anxieties, fears, and despair. Even though things change by me going, God will always stay the same. In fact, thinking about this song brought me to this awesome perspective:
Even when I'm letting go of all that I know, God will never let go of me.
I have to trust that God is faithful and doesn't lose sight of me and my heart's desires. And this is what I'm hoping for.
1 comment:
Oh man, I remember when I went to Chile. I was totally cool and fine up until a few days before I left. Then I had a little meltdown. I gathered up all the guts I could find inside myself and made myself get on that plane, but I think I felt sick all the way from St. Louis to Atlanta. In Atlanta I found a mission trip group that I was able to attach myself to, but when I got off the plane in Santiago, I realized I had to do customs all by myself. In Spanish. And find my housemate, having only vague memories of what she looked like. Yikes! But in retrospect, it was a huge catalyzing moment in my life, and the experiences I had over the course of my 10 weeks there were priceless. It’s been 8 years now, but I’m still in touch w/ people there (thanks Facebook!), and the lessons God taught me are still impacting me today. On my list of important life-changing moments in my life, getting on that plane ranks in the top 5. So yeah. Feel the turmoil. Let it in. But don’t let it conquer you. 2 Timothy 1:7. Joshua 1:9. Go get ‘em, Tiger!
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