Sunday, January 3, 2010

“Beyond the Neon Lights”

Here's a poem that I wrote about London and the impressions it had on me. It seems dark, but it really isn't. its more just my realistic interpretation with a touch of creative imagination added in.


The grains of history stain these

charcoal-colored bricks,

blacken palms as

this city’s grit grinds between grimy fingertips,

crust falling in the wrinkles of skin.

This is (soak it in)

junkyard-paradise.


Survey the landscape.

Find it breathing.

Silent squalls of the employed move like

brush-strokes swept across a canvas.

More men than Whitman could mention

singing their song in this city,

whispering, shouting,

huddled in dark corners, running in broad daylight.

Alleys lead to open field

parks painted with pavement,

circuses without tents,

and the dead look on from the Squares.

Nelson stares from atop his thin pillar.

Congestion, constriction

no room to breathe.

Costa coffee caffeinate,

Hyperventilate home on a

Packed tube speeding silently through a chute

the lights, though they flicker,

will always guide you home.


Yet each moment is a present.

Wrap them in a bari blanket bundle

while making your bed,

while the trains clank-clank by,

carrying the city sounds back home.

And,

upon settling,

as you sit and wonder at this Monet-painted “Dusk”,

the impressions like colored bruises in the sky

beaten into landscape by the city smog

you will ask yourself,

as you step onto the platform tomorrow

and the next day

and the next day

and the next day

Each time you will ask yourself

Will I ride this train again?

until you realize

your will has already left the station.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Landing in London, my first reactions.

Oh good Lord, it is one crowded city! Ok, granted, should have expected this from one of the world's biggest cities, but boy, I was a little surprised.

Landing in London saw me have a 2-hour wait through customs, and then we walked a bit in the streets to get to our hotel (we are staying at a hotel for orientation, the university on Friday.) and there were just SO many people. I felt a little overwhelmed for a little bit, just caught off-guard by the people zipping in and out of the streets. Craziness. This also goes along well with my second observation. British people love to live in tight, compact spaces. I opened my hotel room and found that it was not much bigger than a closet. I laughed as I saw that my bed frame almost touched the bathroom door, and that this space was not 3 feet from my hotel door. You know what, though? I love my midget hotel room. Its so different for me that I'm just getting used to it, I go from the peaceful, spacious Colorado to the hustle and bustle of London. It's like being on two different planets. 

I also had a lovely ordeal trying to figure out how to use my newly purchased British cell phone. In Britain, you buy phones with a certain amount of minutes and then you "top off" your phone by adding more minutes to the phone pretty much anywhere. But, the complicated part is that there are about a zillion plans with a zillion different options and some have international calls some don't, so I settled on the cheapo 25 pound phone plan. But it won't let me call home, which makes me sad, but hopefully that function will turn on soon. 

By the way, converting dollars to pounds makes me cry. I lost about $80 right off the bat, because the dollar is so worthless to the pound. 

But, through all of it, I've chosen to just embrace it. BY the way, I'm typing from like the fanciest McDonald's in the universe. Leather chairs, free wi-fi, fashionably designed interior, a little ridiculous. So...I'm having all sorts of London adventures. That's all for now.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Leaving on a Jet Plane

So, I am leaving to go to the airport in about an hour. I am so unbelievably excited!! Packing was a lot more stressful than I thought, especially with my mom, who insists that I take everything.

But, we got it all in, and 2 checked bags, plus my backpack later, we've made it (although I could pull a muscle with the heaviness of my bags). I am actually doing this. I am living in London for 3 months. Awesome! I have a feeling, there will definitely be some good stories to come out of this.

Lately, I've been reflecting on why I'm going, why this trip means so much to me.

I feel like this trip is a culmination of all the work I've put in to make myself a more independent, confident, and adventurous person. I feel like Europe is like my blog title "Chasing Sunsets", because I am going after and seeking out the beautiful, I am seeking my purpose and a sense of exploration of the unknown. For most of my life, I've really relied on other people to get me by, to push me to pursue a goal, or to take a risk, but not this time. This time, this trip is my idea, and I'm not going to back down from it because of the risks involved. I need to go on this trip for me. To do something for myself, to find out who I am without other people influencing me.

I am going because I need to figure out me. And some people probably aren't going to like what results from this, but if I don't go, then I risk losing myself in what other people think and this trip is going to give me loads of chances to think for myself and to be free to be me. This is why I'm going, because I want to get a better understanding of who i want to be. I'll let you know when I find out.

Friday, September 11, 2009

The Final Countdown *cue awesome music*

So I am in St. Joseph...still. I only have two days left and I have to admit, my real concerns are starting to arise. I'm really going. I really have to figure out how to do all of this stuff while I'm over there. And I won't be just a phone call a way from getting a hold of everyone I know. Its making me kind of anxious, in that I am trying to take every precaution and make sure I know how to access money, overcome language barriers (to an extent), convert British things into ways my American mind will understand them, getting people to understand me. Its been a slow, slow process and I just want to be on that airplane on Sunday. 

Having said that, I feel like just winging it. It'd be so much easier, right? I feel like ever since coming back from Colorado, being at home feels like months. Don't get me wrong, love my parents, seeing family, all of that, but I feel like its time for me to live life on my own. I'm 21. I lived with my parents full-time for 18 years. I'm not meant to stay in one place for a long period of time or plan out everything. I wasn't built like that. I want to go on an adventure and this is my chance. Don't get me wrong, I'm totally excited, but I've never done anything like this before.

To get me through some of my pre-departure anxiety, I've been listening to some worship music, and I  have to say David Crowder Band's "Never Let Go" blows me away. It's so perfect for the way it touches on finding rescue in God from anxieties, fears, and despair. Even though things change by me going, God will always stay the same. In fact, thinking about this song brought me to this awesome perspective:

Even when I'm letting go of all that I know, God will never let go of me. 

I have to trust that God is faithful and doesn't lose sight of me and my heart's desires. And this is what I'm hoping for.


Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Kick-Starting the Euro Blog

Hey everyone,

First off, if you are reading this, I probably haven't or won't see you for a few months and I already miss you. Just so you know.

Anyway, I am re-starting this blog so you all can know what's going on with me as I go on my biggest adventure yet...Europe. 3 months. Wow. You have no idea how excited I am. I have already planned out three possible trips. One to Spain, One to Germany, the third to Italy/Croatia/Austria. I haven't finalized anything, but we'll see what happens. The possibilities are endless, a fact that thrills and terrifies me at the same time. I am nervous about not knowing what will happen when I get over there, but I'm up for it. I signed on to this trip knowing that its a risk, but I feel like I needed to take advantage of this opportunity to live life to the fullest. 

So today, I've been getting things ready. I've got my laptop back, and I've been updating everything, like iTunes, getting a Skype account (my name is nburywood by the way!), putting long overdue photos up, etc. Its been so nice to have it back. I've been buying stuff, its weird having to think about wearing only certain clothes, converting all my money to Euros and pounds, and how to not stand out as that weirdo American guy. 

Anywho, this was just to say hello, I plan on posting my favorite songs, moments, poems I may write, adventures, etc. I hope this blog will be like a collage of experience that I want to share. I'll give you more updates before I leave, but for now, I hope everyone is safe and well. If you need to call me for some reason, better do it before Sunday, because afterwards I'll be out of touch via phone. Keep in touch everyone!

Song of the Day: "If I Am" Nine Days

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Rest

An old woman sits alone,
Swinging on her front porch swing,
Watching highway cars pass, tiny specks of shimmering color.
Her eyes are sepia.
Radiance fading like tea-stained paper.

Her eyes stare into the prairie’s grassy depths.
No squinting or blinking, the sun burns her pupils
Her face etched with the Plains, she chews the grit between her teeth.
Sandpaper wrinkles give texture to sagging skin.
Her hair is soft, white like the feathers she plucked for her pillow
The leathery sunspots on her arms, scars from the field bear witness.

She is the skeleton the county had forgotten.
Her address book is weary, ragged with outdated names
Yellowed like the skin of its owner.
Decades pass. So have they.
Leaving her in conversations with air
The loneliness of wind whispers in tall grasses.

She is alone with the land.
Land she has refused to sell,
She will not mourn.
Stubborn as the oaks that surround her.

After years of work in the fields, harvesting her grains
In the kitchens, providing for her children.
She has earned this solitude,
This forgotten rest, this overdue reprieve.

She stares because she can, because time is not her master.
She creates it with the wave of her freckled hand.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

I can't think to do my homework, so here is this distraction.

Man, how time flies. I am freaking out a little bit because I have made the realization that I am already a junior at college. What? When did this happen? What happened to these last few years?

I feel like so much has happened since I've come to college, and it feels like it's slipping through my hands too fast. I feel like I've grown up a lot, but I also feel like old habits are dying hard. Like this one, where I get into these introspective I-can't-concentrate-on-anything-else-until-this-passes sort of feeling. And I am starting to really worry about my ability to really adapt to change. I have had a great past couple of years here at the University and part of me wishes that I could be stuck in this moment forever. I feel so comfortable here and I don't want to leave.

Everything I've been told and witnessed kinda freaks me out, not gonna lie. My borther moved out west for a month and came back. My sister is in grad school in California, and she's mostly alone out there. I've been repetitively told that English majors can't get great jobs anywhere, and the ones that sound hopeful tell me that the job I want probably isn't going to happen immediately after graduation. 

And I feel like I just want security. I want to be so comfortable being with all of these people I know and love and who care about me, that I am afraid of what life looks like on the outside of college. I feel like I should be thrilled, what a great new opportunity! But, I guess I'm afraid mostly of looking back and feeling regret. I don't want to live with regrets, and this is sticking me right now, because I always struggle with taking risks and moving on is a risk.

When I leave college and I go somewhere else, what if I don't have anything as good as it is right now? What if it goes wrong? What if I am unhappy? Where does the wanderer find rest? I used to always wish to be the free spirit, to travel around and meet all types of people, never staying anywhere long. But lately, I have felt comfortable with where I'm at.

I know I don't really need to worry about this right now, but I'm just thinking about what to do with moving on and how do I face it. And I think it takes a step of faith, and I think I'm going to take it.